


The Mystery of the Fish Man

by SylverFletcher



Series: Hermitcraft Gift Exchange [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Bdubs being a fool, Borderline crack, Gen, Humor, Inside jokes, Keralis bending the laws of physics, bad pop culture references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 20:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21380185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SylverFletcher/pseuds/SylverFletcher
Summary: In which Bdubs gets distracted a bit too easily, Keralis is intent on becoming a detective, Sahara might sell marbles, and these two are both complete idiots.Featuring: a guest appearance of some raiders that just want Bdubs to stop with the constant building noise.(Gift 1 of 3  for the Hermitcraft gift exchange on tumblr)
Relationships: BdoubleO100 & Keralis
Series: Hermitcraft Gift Exchange [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542508
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47





	The Mystery of the Fish Man

**Author's Note:**

> For ate1minecraftbee.tumblr.com and their prompt of "keralis and bdubs being friends in the new hermit village"  
oh my lord this fic made me yell many nights trying to figure out hOW to write it and i binged all of Bdubs' episodes to get here but it might be worth it  
(please forgive me sapph i did my best ilu)

With the sun just cresting over the treetops outside and dragging long beams of light through the yet-undeveloped fields of grass outside Bdubs' window, he was given a blessed moment of uninterrupted peace and quiet to himself to enjoy. Washing the dishes from the previous night that he'd been too tired to deal with before passing out in bed, blankets strewn halfway across the floor along with one foot that hadn't quite made it to the mattress, he now had time to wake up as slowly as he needed while scrubbing away at the handmade porcelain cups in his sink. The window right in front of him provided a perfect view of the world outside as it woke up with him, and when he looked down to visually check the cup looked as clean as it felt, the image of the sun cascading over the plants outside stayed in his mind. It's nice here, he thought; peaceful at times, chaotic and entertaining to no end at others.

And even more so, he'd never felt so welcomed. The others were around somewhere, doing whatever it is they're doing with that giant fenced place with the hippies constantly throwing daisies over into their pristinely mowed lawn and getting yelled at by the guy with the caterpillars for eyebrows, but they're not who he was thinking of. No, his welcome crew had taken form in the shape of one man in particular, one who had jumped so wholeheartedly into that task, Bdubs could swear he had an army of loving neighbors trying to potentially _ actually _ drown him in affection and appreciation.

When he looked back up again from the cup, setting it aside and grabbing a plate to continue scrubbing, he was met with none other than the concerningly huge and perpetually unblinking stare of that man in particular, his face smushed against the kitchen window from the outside. The plate escaped his hands and back into the dishwater as if to hide, while Bdubs himself jolted away with a startled yell and became acquainted with his floor as he tried to instinctively escape the scare by becoming a rug. It was there on the floor that his rational mind caught up with what just happened, and a hand on the sink wrenched him back up to his feet, to peer out the window at the surprise guest to double check he hadn’t just imagined it. In all honesty, though, he should’ve expected Keralis.

He was still there; plastered to the window like a gel decoration two months past its intended holiday and stubbornly refusing to budge, Keralis was almost eerily still as he stared inside the cottage with an exaggerated frown that only increased the longer Bdubs stared at him without speaking. The voice came a few more moments later, muffled almost completely through the glass and sounding more like he was trapped in a jar in a science lab than just standing outside, which would honestly not be a surprising place to find him.

"Bubbles, Bubbles," He tried, somehow smushing his face even more out of shape against the window and beginning to resemble more of a Picasso than a neighbor. _ “Bubbles,” _

“Yes, Keralis?” Bdubs asked, torn between confusion and slight fear, and instantly, Keralis’ face morphed into a huge smile against the glass. Distantly, Bdubs realized he’ll need to wash the windows later to get the face print off. “Are you tryin’ to turn yourself into a window?”

Of course, in true Keralis fashion, he wasn’t trying to get Bdubs’ attention for any serious reason. “No, good morning! I love your face.” Is what his window-smushed and glass-muffled voice ended up saying, dripping with happiness at finally getting the attention he wanted, before Keralis peeled himself off of it and skipped out of sight.

In terms of ways Keralis likes to start off their days, this was actually pretty tame, especially after that day he’d woken up to find Keralis sitting in his sink and Smiler in what was left of the space in the cottage. Even when he’d looked back and forth between the two, unsure of which presence to react to first, Keralis had raised a sopping wet arm out of the sink and pointed at Smiler before saying “He did it.” with as innocent of an expression as he could muster. Whether it was true or not, Bdubs was more focused on wondering how Smiler had fit through the door.

At least this time, all he’ll have to do is clean the window instead of trying to figure out how to get his horse back _ outside _ of his house. And he’ll definitely need to remember to do it, considering the fact he could still clearly see Keralis’ face in the print he left behind, and it made him feel strangely watched.

But that can come later, or at least, it’ll have to. As it turned out, Keralis didn’t actually leave, instead appearing inside of the cottage as suddenly as he’d disappeared from the window, and Bdubs genuinely wasn’t sure whether he actually came through the door or just popped into existence in here. “Where’d you come from? How’d you do that?” He found himself asking, staring as Keralis stared back at him with the same wide stare that had been glued to his window.

“Bubbles, we have _ very _ important things to do today.” Keralis said back, completely ignoring Bdubs’ question in favor of a vaguely ominous tone of voice. Catching his attention immediately, Bdubs forgot all about Keralis’ bending of the universe.

“Oooh what is it? Are we gonna build another house? Did Iskall build another house?!” His hands found their way to Keralis’ shoulders with the intensity of his curiosity at another explosive house, somewhere torn between excitement and slight fear. _ “Is there more diorite?!” _

“No no, no. No more diorite, much better.” His unblinking stare made the barely concealed meaning of his words that much more intriguing, and subconsciously, Bdubs was forgetting to blink himself. “Do you remember that thing you saw?”

Bdubs paused. “I see a lot of things, Keralis. Not as many things as you probably but, y’know I saw all the things we built, and our nice little village, and—”

“No! The _ thing _ , Bubbles, the _ fish. _” Keralis hissed, trying desperately to jog his memory.

“Oh! The fish!” Bdubs gasped, staring back at his friend for several long moments. “... What fish?”

With a sigh, Keralis shook his hands from his shoulders before grabbing one and physically dragging Bdubs from the house. He let him, mostly not questioning where Keralis was taking him or what the fish was, perfectly happy to just be dragged along to wherever his friend wanted to take him. Outside, the rising sun basked over them and lit the village in perfect warm hues, far more nicely than it had even seemed through his previously faceless window. For what was probably the hundredth time, he looked around, admiring all of their builds and all of the places they could still improve on, all while being dragged through the village by his friend and sole townmate.

“Here!” Keralis said finally, stopping between two unaltered houses near his iron golem skeleton, almost suddenly enough for Bdubs to nearly crash into him. “You said you saw the strange fish thing here.”

That was enough to bring back to mind what he was actually talking about, and now Bdubs actually gasped with realization. “Ooooh yeah! That weird floaty thing! Yeah I saw that.”

“Yes, that fish thing, you remember the fish thing. Now, what if I told you, other people have seen the strange fish thing too?”

“Well if you told me that, I’d be very shocked! Floored, even! Because that would mean I wasn’t just staring at bone blocks for so long I lost my marbles, and that other people also don’t have marbles.”

Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, Bdubs had to lean in to hear Keralis’ next words. “Other people have seen it.”

With a loud gasp, Bdubs reeled backwards, staring at his wide eyed friend in uncertain shock. “Are you sure?! You’re sure they weren’t just, y’know like, just _ saying _ they saw it too to look cool or somethin’ are you? Do you think they lost their marbles too? _ Hey _ maybe that Sahara place sells marbles!”

“I’m sure,” Keralis nodded, smoothly ignoring Bdubs’ tangent. “And I think we should investigate.”

“Oooh, like we’re detectives? _ Can _ we be detectives?! I wanna be the dog!”

“You can be the dog.”

_ “YES!” _

This time, Keralis was the one to grab Bdubs’ shoulders and shake him, drawing his attention away from the excitement about getting to cosplay detectives when he tried to dance away with a fist pump into the air. “Now, now, we have to look for clues, Bubbles. We have to find where the fish thing came from and where it went.” He informed him, and Bdubs instantly pointed behind the two houses, doing his best to be serious and helpful.

“He came from behind that one and disappeared behind that one.”

“I— yes, yes he did.” Leading the way behind the two houses, Keralis looked around, inspecting the ground and the walls of the houses with his wide eyed stare. After a moment, Bdubs realized he should probably do the same and followed his lead, though he wasn’t sure what he was looking for. The grass sure was pretty, though. “Do you see anything?”

“I just see grass. Oh, and a flower. Do you think he planted a flower, Keralis?” Bdubs asked, lowering himself to the ground to inspect it properly.

Yup, it was a flower. Very red, very pretty.

“Bubbles, I don’t think he—” Keralis cut himself off with a startled gasp, and Bdubs scrambled to his feet in an instant, half tripping to join his friend. “Here!”

When he made it over, nearly running right over Keralis in the process, he found his friend crouched on the ground staring at something in the grass. Leaning over Keralis’ shoulder and looking down at what he found only gave him more questions, though. “It’s… a pickle. Why does a pickle matter?”

“Don’t you understand, Bubbles? Pickles come from the ocean, and—”

“Oooh I get it, it’s here to distract us because this isn’t the ocean! You’re a genius, Keralis.”

“—and fish come from the ocean too, and he’s a fish.”

“So he… wait, I don’t get it.”

Picking up the salty calling card, Keralis turned to Bdubs, holding it up. “Okay, look, you see this. These don’t grow here, and you saw the fish man here, and both fish and pickles come from the ocean, and…” He trailed off, furrowing his brow as he stared at the mystery pickle.

“And..?”

“... I’m— not sure what that means, actually.”

Staring at him, and then at the pickle, and then back at Keralis’ confused face, Bdubs wasn’t sure what to say in response. They have a phantom fish man, and a pickle that seemingly materialized out of thin air from said phantom fish man. “Well, I don’t know what it means either.” He pointed out as unhelpfully as possible.

“Okay, maybe we should look around. Maybe there are more pickles and we can follow them to find the fish man.”

“We should split up.” Bdubs interjected, and at Keralis’ confused expression added, “Because that’s what they always do in the detective show with the dog. It has to help somehow, or else they wouldn’t do it, right?”

Keralis nodded. “You’re right, you’re right. We’ll split up and have the most luck searching.”

“What’s say you go that way, and I’ll cover back toward the entrance to town?” He asked, gesturing with his hands even though Keralis knew the village as well as he did. Keralis continued nodding, faint murmurs of agreement escaping him.

“Yes, yes. Let’s meet back in the center of town at noon and share what we’ve found.”

“Okay!” With the agreement made, Keralis turned and wandered off, his wide eyes staring at every little detail as he went. Bdubs made a mental note to do the same, but as he turned around and started trying to inspect everything in the village it didn’t seem to be that easy. He could look at the buildings and see how he could improve them, or admire the work they’d already done, those were easy things to notice. But looking around for… _ something, _ that he wasn’t even sure what it was? That was difficult. He wasn’t sure if he should be looking around for more pickles, or the fish man, or even things that may have seemed entirely unrelated.

In fact, it started to sink in then that he had no idea what any sort of clues would actually look like. They could be things he’d completely miss, or maybe he’d find what he thinks is a clue but doesn’t actually mean anything, and he started to wonder how they were going to piece together anything about the fish man at all.

Keralis seemed to think they could, though, and he believed in Keralis. So he kept looking around, doing his best to mimic his friend and stare with as wide of an unblinking gaze as he could possibly manage at absolutely everything. From individual blades of grass to every single stone in the cobbles of the houses, he did his best to look as closely at everything as possible until his eyes were burning from the effort of copying the other Hermit.

Really, how did Keralis do it? He’d never seen him blink, not once in their lives, and already he felt like he couldn’t actually see because he was trying too hard to. He decided Keralis must _ actually _ have superpowers, and that was why he can see everything and potentially phase through walls, both things Bdubs was choosing not to question too much. With that in mind, he gave up on trying to see everything the way Keralis does, and started blinking again. It was a wonderful relief.

But in that process, he realized he hadn’t actually paid any attention to the things he’d been staring at in Keralis-mode, and he had to double back and look at them properly again. It revealed absolutely nothing new, just more of their collaborative landscaping and buildings, though it did make Bdubs realize he’d missed a block in one of his builds. He wasn’t sure how, really, but now that he’d seen it there was definitely no unseeing it, and all thoughts of the fish man flew from his mind as he traced his steps back home to grab the missing block.

Smiler snorted at him as he ran past, but he barely noticed, diving into his house and digging through his cabinets for the missing block. It wasn’t anything rare, he just… needed to organize, really, or at least better than it was now, especially since he found the block he needed in a cabinet with food and shears, for some reason. But either way, he found it, and dashed back to that house with the missing block as fast as he could. It was just as annoying as it looked when he first noticed it, and with almost righteous force he slapped the block into the place it belonged, instantly feeling better about the entire build.

Stepping back and looking over it as a whole, he nodded in satisfaction to himself. The village was looking very nice between the work of the two of them, and just in the distance over the roof of this house, he could see his hot air balloon. It was a great focal point, and now, there was no stupid missing block to detract from it. Just below it, though, the village looked awfully empty in that spot, and already he could feel the ideas beginning to filter in as he stared at the blank spaces he could fill with nice houses.

...Wasn’t he supposed to be doing something? Eh, well, it was probably nothing.

* * *

Exactly one hour later found Bdubs clinging to the top branches of a tree, trying his best to dodge crossbow bolts in the limited space and yelling Keralis’ name at the top of his lungs. All he wanted to do was build another house, fill in another of the wool outlines he’d placed all over the village, and all these guys wanted to do was ruin his day. Another bolt embedded itself in the branch beside his head and he squawked, scrambling higher up the tree.

“Leave me alone you, you… stupid, big nosed, outdated movie references!” He yelled down, causing the Vindicator with an axe to pause and give him a bewildered look. “Yeah, you! Nobody likes you!”

It was maybe not the best idea to start insulting the guy with the axe while he hid at the top of the tree, but Bdubs never tried to claim he had any sort of copyright over good ideas. As literally anyone else would have expected would happen, the Vindicator gave an offended grunt, and began hacking away at the base of the tree. It made the top branches shake and jerk around, reminding the builder of that time he first attempted to tame Smiler and only managed to get a backside covered in dirt for his efforts. Up here, in the top of this tree, he absolutely did not want a repeat of that situation, and clung ever tighter to the branch. Not that he’d be safe there once the tree gave way, though, but he was willfully ignoring that particular detail for the moment.

“Keralis help me!” Bdubs yelled from the tree, right as he felt it beginning to sway much more than it should have if it still had a solid base. Where Keralis was, exactly, he didn’t know; but he tried anyway. “I’m being bullied!”

From the ground, there was a bit of a clamour, but it was all drowned out by the sound of wood cracking as the tree gave way. For a split second Bdubs felt weightless, his stomach dropping from the sensation like he was on a cheap homemade version of an amusement park ride, or just Joe’s rollercoaster. Then gravity remembered him and he fell with the tree, landing half sprawled in a tangle of branches with twigs and leaves sticking out of his hair, all of which made him vow to never climb a tree again.

“Bubbles! Are you okay?” Keralis’ face appeared through the rest of the branches sticking out into the air, his beautiful face that was more eyes than face, and Bdubs couldn’t be more glad to see it.

“I am now, or at least I think I am! Or I will be, as soon as I get out of—” He tugged, trying his hardest to free himself of the branches, but he felt a bit like a turtle knocked on its back. Partially, he wondered if Xisuma ever ended up like this, and maybe that was why he ran around with a turtle head on sometimes, or maybe he’d experienced something like this after wearing the turtle head, and that was why he didn’t wear it very often. Unaware of his turtle related thoughts, Keralis reached down into the tangled remains of the tree and caught one of his flailing hands, and with a hefty tug, yanked him free of his brand new accidental oak prison cell. “Oh, thank you Keralis. Did you see what those guys did to me? Look at what they did to this poor tree! They’re brutes! They’re absolute heathens!”

“They’re dead,” Keralis cut in.

“They’re dead!” Bdubs repeated instantly without listening, until looking around and registering they were now, indeed, safely alone. “Oh they’re dead. Well, that’s better. I didn’t like that guy with the axe.”

“Bubbles, where have you been? I’ve been looking for you!” Keralis asked suddenly, brushing off the raiders entirely in favor of jumping down from the felled tree, Bdubs following him down without question. “I found something, or rather, some_ one _.”

For a moment, Bdubs just blinked at him, drawing a complete blank. Then the events of the morning came rushing back, along with his hand to his forehead. “The fish man! Keralis, I’m gonna— I have to be honest, I completely forgot we were lookin’ for this fish man guy, I just started building a house.” He emphasized his point by gesturing at the half built frame he’d constructed before the raiders came along and waved sharp pointy objects at him.

“Bubbles this is very important.” Keralis chastised him, in that quiet sort of way he had. “... But your house does look nice.”

“Thank you!” Bdubs beamed back at his friend, glowing even as Keralis dragged him along unceremoniously down the street to find whatever it was he’d happened across somewhere on the other side of their village. Keralis, all day, had been a man on a mission; his unblinking attention focused entirely on the path ahead of him that would lead them to the answers they’ve been searching for about the mysterious fish man, all while dragging Bdubs along behind him like a forgetful and mostly unhelpful ragdoll with carpentry skills. “Oooh, where’re we goin’?”

Keralis didn’t answer him, only continuing to lead the way through their home. In between buildings and down side streets that they’ve half beaten into paths, he finally made it to one of the more unassuming houses they’ve yet to touch and pulled Bdubs inside of it. The basic houses were incredibly cramped and claustrophobic, with far too little space for any kind of decorating which made his little builder heart incredibly unhappy, but this one was a little bit different. The floor in the corner was cut away, revealing a ladder leading into a basement below. Bdubs gawked at it.

“The fish man is living in this here basement! Oooh he was right under our noses! What’re we gonna do Keralis?”

“It’s not the fish man.” Keralis explained, much to an equal mixture of relief and disappointment from Bdubs. “I dug this.”

“Why’d you give this lame— I mean, perfectly fine but also super lame and basic house let’s be honest, a basement?” He tried to be nice to the house, he really did. Being nice didn’t make it any less lame.

“It’s a _ questioning room.” _ Keralis lowered his voice, whispering back in a conspiratorial tone as he led the way down the ladder and into the darkness. Bdubs couldn’t see a thing as they traversed the rungs down to the bottom, not a single source of light down here and the sunlight left far above, and had to rely on Keralis to know where the bottom was so he wouldn’t do that thing where he expects another step only to stomp on the floor like a budget mafia boss with no depth perception. Luckily, his friend’s massive eyes could be seen even in this darkness, which on the one hand _ would _ be pretty scary and he hoped Keralis never figured it out to use against him in his house at night, but on the other hand, it gave him some point of reference in here. They made it to the bottom mostly without trouble, and Keralis took his hand again to lead him into the blackness of the room. “For _ him.” _

Out of seemingly nowhere, Keralis revealed a torch that washed the entire room in light, holding it out to illuminate the dark figure in front of them. Its presence made Bdubs startle backwards with a definitely manly scream, the high notes bouncing off the walls for a few seconds as he stared at the small, black shape staring up at him from the table. It was truly vicious, a terrifying beast, blinking its wide green eyes at him and purring. Keralis reached over, and pushed up on his chin, forcing him to shut up. “That’s not the fish man.” Bdubs mumbled through closed teeth.

“No, but he can tell us where the fish man is. Or _ who _ the fish man is.” Keralis leered closer to the cat lounging on the table, holding the torch over it like one of those detective lamps that make criminals feel uncomfortable when they’re being questioned. Except with fire, and a cat. It just looked up at him, the purring audible in the quiet room, and meowed at the intense stare focused on it, completely unbothered. It was… kinda cute, Bdubs had to admit. “Tell us all your secrets.”

The cat meowed again.

“I dunno about you, Keralis, but uh…” He looked over at his friend, who returned the look at the mention of his name, and y’know what, the eyes were less intimidating just floating in the dark than they were now beside a flaming stick. “I don’t speak cat.”

“... Bubbles that is a very good point and now that you mention it… neither do I.”

They both looked back at the cat, its eyes half closed as it purred and slowly swished its tail on the table. It really _ was _ cute, especially as it noticed their gazes on it and meowed again, the little white whiskers moving up when it did. It was a lot cuter than Smiler, that was for sure. That guy was just a mooch. “Hey, whatya say we…”

“Forget the fish man and take the cat home?”

“Yes.”

“...Okay.”

With Keralis holding the torch, that left Bdubs to reach out for the cat. He half expected it to dart away, or try to scratch him, but it only continued to purr as he lifted it into his arms. Honestly, he’d never much bothered with cats, but actually, the little guy was so soft he almost never wanted to put him down ever again, and suddenly he understood Scar’s obsession. Keralis led the way back out of the basement and to the ladder, and though climbing a ladder with a cat in his arms sounded like a recipe for a disaster similarly to anything involving a cat and a bathtub would be, it wasn’t as hard as he would’ve expected. Soon they were immerging back out into the daylight with the cat, as happy as could be, perfectly comfortable in the builder’s grip.

He was a pretty cat, too. Black fur sleek and shiny in the sunlight, with little white paws, like he was wearing tiny cat gloves. Or like he was a little butler, though cats would probably make awful butlers, throwing stuff on the floor instead of dusting them.

“We should name him.” Bdubs decided, with a nod from Keralis. “Let’s name him, uhh… Smiler Two.”

“No.”

“Timmy it is then.”

**Author's Note:**

> you said you wanted a timmy reference in your gift and you didnt realize i was in the chat at that moment so hA


End file.
